Dissapointment remains.

Never been so dissapointed. Do people really changed? Or I am the one changing? Becoming someone who never tolerate with the others, never understand people's situation? I hope not. Yet, it had been disspointing days for me during these two days. Again, to you. You said I can never understand your situation, not putting myself into your shoes, but at the same time, did you look from my perspective? I tried my best to reduce the budget for the trip, I did; what I get back in return? Saying is expensive? Yes, it is. Please think again, that's what I can only do. I'm not the owner of the hotel, or even the island. If I am, you guys can go there for free obviously. So, stop complaining to me is expensive. If you are not willing to go, just let me know; I don't care what's the reason behind because I knew it. That's all I can say to you. You dissapointed me. As a friend, I'm hoping good for you, wasn't trying to add on any frustration nor burden on you. If our friendship is what you choose to sacrifice, I shouldn't say anything. That's your decision I would say, but please think twice. This matter had been triggering me for these few days, if you aren't someone I care, you know I won't. I don't hope there's any changes between us, hope you have the same thought as me.

Things remained, people changed, not Me.

It had been one month back to where I'm from originally, places remain unchange, yet people do change. No doubt, I enjoy being with friends, that's the reason and why I'm back here; obviously, what I'm worried about did occured as well. To be honest, I expect to spend more time with all of you, hoping to spend more and most of my time with you, yet is true that everyone do have their own things busying with, especially with their studies. I'm not trying to complain, or in other way, satisfying myself by putting the pain on the others, that's why I try to make up plans, joining everyone regardless for a meal or just a walk, anytime. I do sacrifice whatever I can to take part, I do willing to spend in everything to earn a bit of time with you, you, and you. Appreciate those who did really tried, and I'm okay with those who couldn't make it sometimes, these are what friends for, to be tolerate among each other, sharing things among each other, and of course being there for each other. I have few of you to share everything with me, but in other hand, you, one of my best friend, I really hope you understand what I had been trying to tell you. You should know what I dislike; at the same time, knowing me for such a period, you know me well enough. Everyone have their own theory to live on their life, so does you; that's the reason I never said a word to you before, not until I came back. Put these few things in mind, you study in behalf of yourself, your life shouldn't be minimize till there's only both of you. I really hope you understand what I'm trying to say, probably talk this to me one day when you are ready. Again, I really think we should talk, one day. Of course, I know all of you had tried your very best to participate in trips which I planned. My bad, for doing the bad calculation, my bad for doing such a bad job in this, I know is a little way out of budget, I'm not trying to make myself better, but take this into consideration before doing the final decision. By the amount I proposed, you get to go on a trip to Redang, by air. I couldn't make any changes on the plan nor reducing the price. Really sorry bout that. Guys, just let me know as soon as possible, whether to go or not to go. Don't be afraid that I will be dissapointed, obviously I will, but if the budget really doesn't allows, there's nothing we can do except for cutting off the plan.

It had been some time since I last blogged. Kinda rusty. There's too much running around in heart. Instead of letting it out, it seems to be better to be in there. I'm still me, nothing changed, nor my feelings. Too much to express; couldn't find my way. That's all for now I guess. Hope to see you guys on Saturday.

p/s: Now I know how's the feeling of suffering from bulimia.